[Well not everything. Bruce didn't outright admit that he knew he was signing up for planetary destruction, but he told him about his reasoning when it came to the Hulk and keeping him somewhere contained. And he told him how it also related to the SHIELD leak.]
I buy that you were just trying to keep people safe. I really do. [He can't say that he's even angry at Bruce over it--or angry is not the first emotion he'd pick out of the cluster in his brain right now.] The thing that I don't understand is why you thought there was no other option.
[ there's always more. bruce plays everything close to the chest, especially with tony not remembering the last two years. ]
My identity was leaked. By Natasha and Steve. They might've told you about that datadump they did, to expose Hydra? Well, my file was in it. You told the world who Iron Man was. You must've gotten a few phone calls. And Iron Man was popular.
[ so you can imagine what they were doing to bruce. ]
CDC came to me about 48 hours after the files hit the web.
We're still friends two years from now, right? You didn't think about giving me a call? Maybe, just maybe I could have done something before you signed up with an alien demolition company?
[A small part of Tony might know the concept is irrational and flawed even as it comes out of his mouth, but he's preoccupied by his emotions. As far as he's concerned, Bruce could have come to his house in Malibu and hid it out with him and Pepper and it would have been fine.]
[ this is exactly what he's been trying to avoid. these questions, to which he has no good answer. just hunches, backed up by years of betrayal. tony had showed up at his apartment, laid on his couch, and unburdened himself of years of pain. bruce hadn't been able to handle it; temperament wasn't an excuse, it was a reality. empathy—attachment, that was the easiest way to lose control. he still remembers the incident in rio de janeiro: the number of days without feeling the strain underneath his skin didn't matter; when he got involved with helping that woman, it all tipped over into chaos. that's what caring does.
he'd distanced himself from tony after that. it'd been partially self-preservation, partially because of an irrational betrayal he felt, knowing tony had so easily gotten rid of his arc reactor. extremely irrational. he knew how difficult the process was for tony, physically and mentally. but in the end, that was the difference, the one bruce had pointed out right from the start. tony had choices. bruce didn't. tony would never really understand that. and bruce didn't expect him to, but he didn't feel obligated to explain himself either.
at least, he didn't then, that day when he'd said yes. now, standing in front of the only person he could honestly call his friend, it's harder. he knew it would be. ]
I did, Tony. I wanted to call you. I wanted to think you'd help. No, I—I know you would've. And the you back home, in my timeline, is probably wondering why I haven't. [ the multiverse time travel theory is the only thing that explains their situation; he assumes tony's already reached this conclusion too. ] But this—my... condition? Isn't something you can fix.
[Tony had been filled in about this apparent future where he loses the arc reactor--Natasha told him first, at the rendezvous point, and Bruce confirmed it. But Tony doesn't feel connected to this event, he's grown so accustomed to the pressure in his chest (and the ghost sensations of shrapnel embedded in his arterial walls) that he can't conceptualize what it'd feel like not to have it again. It was like hearing about something that was happening to someone else. It wasn't him. Not yet. He still has two years to become that person that all the others knew.
So he couldn't understand where Bruce is coming from. He ends up repeating what he had said to him on the helicarrier.] But you can learn to control it.
Remember New York? We couldn't have stood a chance if you hadn't come back to help--that's not just my opinion, either. Nat and Cap can just sing along in spirit. Not like I remember much before waking up on the street, but I would've been splatter art on Park Avenue if you hadn't caught me.
[If the Hulk hadn't grabbed him before he hit the ground, so he can't get totally mad at Bruce's greener, angrier side, even if he did break Harlem.]
You keep trying to keep everyone at arm's length, trying to keep them safe or whatever, you don't just separate them from your "condition," you estrange them from every single part of you. [He squares his jaw as the earnest expression comes out of him, one word fumbling after the other.] It's a really small group of people that I can count on. You're one of them, Bruce.
Edited (sorry for all the edits ;;;;) 2014-06-11 06:19 (UTC)
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no subject
[Well not everything. Bruce didn't outright admit that he knew he was signing up for planetary destruction, but he told him about his reasoning when it came to the Hulk and keeping him somewhere contained. And he told him how it also related to the SHIELD leak.]
I buy that you were just trying to keep people safe. I really do. [He can't say that he's even angry at Bruce over it--or angry is not the first emotion he'd pick out of the cluster in his brain right now.] The thing that I don't understand is why you thought there was no other option.
no subject
[ there's always more. bruce plays everything close to the chest, especially with tony not remembering the last two years. ]
My identity was leaked. By Natasha and Steve. They might've told you about that datadump they did, to expose Hydra? Well, my file was in it. You told the world who Iron Man was. You must've gotten a few phone calls. And Iron Man was popular.
[ so you can imagine what they were doing to bruce. ]
CDC came to me about 48 hours after the files hit the web.
no subject
[A small part of Tony might know the concept is irrational and flawed even as it comes out of his mouth, but he's preoccupied by his emotions. As far as he's concerned, Bruce could have come to his house in Malibu and hid it out with him and Pepper and it would have been fine.]
this turned into an essay
he'd distanced himself from tony after that. it'd been partially self-preservation, partially because of an irrational betrayal he felt, knowing tony had so easily gotten rid of his arc reactor. extremely irrational. he knew how difficult the process was for tony, physically and mentally. but in the end, that was the difference, the one bruce had pointed out right from the start. tony had choices. bruce didn't. tony would never really understand that. and bruce didn't expect him to, but he didn't feel obligated to explain himself either.
at least, he didn't then, that day when he'd said yes. now, standing in front of the only person he could honestly call his friend, it's harder. he knew it would be. ]
I did, Tony. I wanted to call you. I wanted to think you'd help. No, I—I know you would've. And the you back home, in my timeline, is probably wondering why I haven't. [ the multiverse time travel theory is the only thing that explains their situation; he assumes tony's already reached this conclusion too. ] But this—my... condition? Isn't something you can fix.
no subject
So he couldn't understand where Bruce is coming from. He ends up repeating what he had said to him on the helicarrier.] But you can learn to control it.
Remember New York? We couldn't have stood a chance if you hadn't come back to help--that's not just my opinion, either. Nat and Cap can just sing along in spirit. Not like I remember much before waking up on the street, but I would've been splatter art on Park Avenue if you hadn't caught me.
[If the Hulk hadn't grabbed him before he hit the ground, so he can't get totally mad at Bruce's greener, angrier side, even if he did break Harlem.]
You keep trying to keep everyone at arm's length, trying to keep them safe or whatever, you don't just separate them from your "condition," you estrange them from every single part of you. [He squares his jaw as the earnest expression comes out of him, one word fumbling after the other.] It's a really small group of people that I can count on. You're one of them, Bruce.